day of unsatisfying shopping

I would like a pair of affordable lace-up boots....

....very badly.

good weekend

This Labor Day weekend, I made a trip to Nashville. It was the best weekend I have had in a long time. It was full of good coffee and talking into the wee hours of night with my lovely friends and seeing flannel shirts on bearded young men around every corner. The weather was so nice - fresh fall air, crisp and cool. The people are warm, and the environment, relaxed. I can easily see myself living in a city like this. If I had to move anywhere at this moment, Nashville would be the place. But it is not time.

Among the things we did:

The Shakespeare Festival in Centennial Park: Love's Labour's Lost (a lesser known, but of course delightful, comedy from the Bard). And it was free!

Stood in line at The Pancake Pantry for one hour, passing the time with complimentary coffee and ducking in and out of a cute little store and chatting.

And it was totally worth it. Michelle with old-fashioned buttermilk, Lauren with sweet potato.

A treat from Las Paletas, a dessert popsicle shop. I had chocolate strawberry. Yum.

I was sad to leave!

something good i read and something good i found out today

Daniel 3. And to accompany it:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,

Nor will the flame burn you.

Isaiah 43:2

And what did I discover?

Sufjan Stevens. The Tabernacle. Atlanta, GA. November 6th.

Tickets went on sale today.

Do you have those musicians that you simply must see perform live in this life? Sufjan is one of those. I was fortunate enough to see the only other one I really have (so far) last year, that is, Coldplay. And they did not disappoint.

I will be there.

cool beans

I was walking around Books-A-Million tonight and stumbled upon one of those "fun summer reading" tables. I found four things I really wanted to purchase....but didn't.

1. A Rosetta Stone "Learn Spanish" Box Set

Pretty much the moment I arrived in Guatemala, my interest in the Spanish language was reawakened. I just love the sound of it! And, why not be bilingual? It can only help you. I know my experience there would have been even more rich if I wasn't always having to communicate with the people through a translator. Have I made any effort or taken any steps to expand my high school Spanish knowledge base? Well, not yet.

2. "A Very Short Introduction" from Oxford University Press

I have never heard of this book series, but I'm so intrigued. They are these thin little books that provide a thoughtful, reliable introduction to everything from "Film Music" (which really intrigued me!) to "Animal Rights" (hmm..). And they have pretty little covers (though I know we shouldn't judge them by that...). I wanted to buy them all.

3. My Listography

I have seen this book before, and every time, I want to get it. Obviously, I like lists. This notebook gives you the opportunity to record your life in lists. "10 Superpowers you've always wanted", "Nice things you've done for other people", "Favorite Games". I would just love to sit around all day....and list.

4. A brand spanking new copy of The Catcher in the Rye

I've only read it the one time, back in the 10th grade. But I remember loving it (if you don't like it, you're a phony!). It's just a classic, and I think in honor of the recently late J.D. Salinger, it's time for a reread.

year one, down

I graduated from college one year ago today. I can't believe it has been a whole year. I don't feel like I've moved very far (literally, haha). I have lived in my parents' house, month after month. Watched television and eaten meals with my family, night after night. Worked restlessly at a bank, day after day. I don't have a lot of exciting stories from this year.

I know I sound like a brat. Ungrateful, even. And I know I often appear pessimistic.

But I know God is still God, and He is working everywhere, in schools and in friends' lives and in India and in corporate offices, and I am growing in Him. And for that I am thankful, and in that I find rest.

Now if I could just get over myself, and start living out this quote that my friend Sarah shared on her blog not long ago, and that I haven't stopped thinking about since:

Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls, and interesting people. Forget yourself. - Henry Miller

And (dare I say it again?) I really, really, want to begin writing at least weekly, if not daily, like my friend Michelle has committed to do.

I read today in Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening that Christ is the "spring of our actions". That really excites me. I am not a "make it happen" type of person. I'm a "watch it happen" person (thus, movie freak). But there has to be some action. And I think action begins when we start obeying. And the Spirit tells us how to obey. I think I don't see action in my life because I am fearful, and lazy, and I resist His beckoning. I'm mostly talking about little things here, like phone calls and preparing my own meals and practicing playing my guitar instead of just staring at it. Through daily obedience, I think God invites us to see the bigger picture, because it takes the focus off of ourselves. So that's what I'm going to try to do.

guatemala

I am leaving for Guatemala today (well, technically tomorrow morning) with seven others from my church. I am very excited! We will be gone for one week. If you happen to be reading this, please pray for the people of Guatemala and my team.

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ will dwell in me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

wednesday.

It's been a hard day.

But somehow, reading a chapter or two of Donald Miller's A Million Miles In A Thousand Years at night before I go to bed puts things in perspective and makes everything look a little brighter.

Thanks, Don. God is using you.

emma

I am in the highly enjoyable process of reading Jane Austen's Emma. "Process" may seem like a negative word, but I do not mean it this way. If you have read her, maybe you know what I'm talking about. She is the queen of lofty language, and to me, it is so beautiful. But, it is not read without difficulty. I find myself having to reread sentences here and there, and very slowly, carefully. I have to pause to look up words in the dictionary. This is so I can extract the full meaning of what Austen is saying. That's the thing about lofty language - you have to work harder to decipher the sentence, but it is so rewarding in the end because Austen, or whoever, has told you in the most delightful, detailed terms what is occurring, how it's occurring, and how those involved are feeling. For instance, look at this sentence that tells of Emma and her clan being snowed in during Christmas, and her brother-in-law's change of mood:

"These days of confinement would have been, but for her private perplexities, remarkably comfortable, as such seclusion exactly suited her brother, whose feelings must always be of great importance to his companions; and he had, besides, so thoroughly cleared off his ill-humour at Randalls, that his amiableness never failed him during the rest of his stay at Hartfield."

It's pretty packed with word-age. "Private perplexities"! I love it! What a way of saying that Emma is anxious and not willing to share her feelings with anyone. And the phrase about her brother-in-law, Mr. John Knightley - "whose feelings must always be of great importance to his companions" - is this suggesting Knightley is one of those "if I'm not happy, no one's happy" kind of person, or is everyone just concerned about him because he is so loved? I'm still not sure, but it's fun trying to figure it out.

I'm adoring this novel so far. I love the characters - Emma is such a snob, her father so fussy, her friend so comically innocent, and Mr. Knightley, the main Mr. of this Austen, is so attractively confident. Jane Austen is so clever, and Emma seems to be more playful and fanciful in plot and style than her other works. Out of her six major novels, this is the third I've read (the other two being Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice) and I was really excited, at first, about not knowing the story beforehand - because before I read the other two, I had seen the movies, so I knew what was going to happen. It took me only a few pages of reading Emma to remember, "Oh yes, Clueless was totally modeled after this novel." (I mean... Elton/Mr. Elton? Same character!) I had forgotten. So, a lot of the major romantic plot twists are no longer twists - I pretty much know what's going to happen. But no matter, for Jane Austen, in my opinion, can do no wrong.

finally!

Guess who has finally written a new book? One of my favorite authors, Francine Rivers! And maybe she is one of yours too. If that be the case, I wanted to share this news with you. My sis and I discovered it while ordering our coffee and Barnes and Noble today. They were advertising it at the counter. I can't wait to read it!

HER MOTHER'S HOPE: Now available!

February 12, 2010 | 0 comments

The first part of an unforgettable epic family saga about the sacrifices every mother makes for her daughter and the very nature of unconditional love. On the eve of the First World War, fiery Marta Schneider leaves Switzerland and her difficult childhood behind, determined to find a new life on her own terms. Barely out of her teens, Marta is haunted by a devastating loss that fuels her ambition to one day own a hotel. From the cramped quarters of a French housekeeping school to the portrait-lined halls of a stately English manor, Marta becomes a hard working domestic who has little time to dwell onwhat might have been. Instead, she draws her strength from what could be. Then, Marta meets Niclas Waltert, a man just as determined as she to forge a better life in a new place. Niclas captures her heart and together they endure the harshness of life as tenant farmers on the vast prairies of Winnipeg, Canada, before following the promise of the American dream and migrating to the agriculturally rich Central Valley of California. Marriage and motherhood bring both joy and heartbreak, as Marta must surrender her long-held ambitions for the sake of her husband and children, including her daughter, Hildemara, upon whose shoulders her own hopes now squarely rest. Only the strong survive and Marta is determined to raise a daughter as strong as she. But as Hildie reaches young womanhood and another war is fast approaching, those hopes become too heavy a burden for Hildie to bear. Born with a heart to serve others, Hildie pursues her calling as a nurse, something Marta can’t understand. Marta’s years of hardnosed parenting have left Hildie still hungry for her mother’s love…and now for her mother’s respect. Amid the drama of WWII, Hildie falls in love and begins a family of her own. She wants her daughter, Carolyn, never to doubt her love—but the challenges of life conspire against her vow and the only person who can come to her aid is the person she remains so desperate to please: Marta, her mother. With hallmark touches of brilliant prose and gripping characterizations, Her Mother’s Hope is a rich, moving epic about faith and dreams, heartache and disappointment, and ultimately the resilience and tenacity of love.

Oscar Night

I'm a little late with recording my thoughts about The Academy Awards on Sunday night, but I must share them, for it is one of my favorite events of the year.

First, let's talk awards. No real big surprises except for the fact that Avatar did not take the Best Picture title. I did have a suspicion that The Hurt Locker might sneak up and win. Has anyone actually seen this movie? I haven't heard of anyone that has, but apparently its amazing. We'll see. Second big thing...I am very happy for Sandra Bullock. I think her performance was just perfect in The Blind Side. Honestly though, I think Gabourey Sidibe as Precious was even more perfect. I watched that movie for the second time last night, and I just can't get over how realistic her character is. After seeing her in interviews and on the Red Carpet, I am even more convinced of her acting skills, since she is absolutely nothing like Precious (her voice especially!). But way to go Sandy! And didn't she look like an Academy Award winner? Beautiful.

Favorite moment of the night: The John Hughes tribute. As I've already mentioned, I loooove John Hughes movies. Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club were probably the first movies that I recognized as "favorites". Though his movies were never what we would call Oscar-worthy (though I think they maybe should have been!), he was still an important figure in Hollywood, and I was touched they highlighted him with a tribute at the awards.

Now, on to fashion.

Favorite Dresses

Demi Moore

Rachel McAdams

Anna Kendrick

Overall Favorite Look of the Night

Sandra Bullock

...and Dresses I Had Problems with

Charlize Theron

Sarah Jessica Parker

Undecided

Zoe Saldana

But...I want to say it worked for her. I love the colors. Those kind of look like pom-poms, though.

That was fun! I need to blog more often. Someone hold me accountable!

happy valentine's day: continued

I have to add a little something to my V-day blogging. This is both the most hilarious and most offensive valentine I have ever received, and it is from my loving brother-in-law. If you knew our relationship, it might be more amusing. But even if you don't, it's funny that they actually make these!

happy valentine's day

Is Valentine's Day ever on a Sunday? I don't remember it ever happening. I think I like it. It was nice going to church on the "holiday of love". Everyone was wearing pink and red. My celebration has so far consisted of: going to see Valentine's Day last night (it was actually really funny; a tad cheesy, but that can be expected) and eating Russell Stover chocolates out of the heart-shaped box my mom gave me. Yes, my parents still give me valentines.

I started wondering today about Valentine's Day...you know, what it really means. All holidays have a basis, and I don't know what V-day's is, so of course I went to Wikipedia. The modern day "definition" of Valentine's Day is one we are all familiar with: "a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery (haha, how often do you hear that word?), and sending greeting cards". But where did it all start? With the annual honoring of two Christian martyrs, both bearing the name Valentine, on the date of February 14th. There were no romantic links to the holiday until the 14th century, possibly instigated by the poet Geoffrey Chaucer. I don't know where I'm going with this, I just thought it was interesting that it was originally a Christian holiday. Up until today, I really thought it might have been invented by a candy or card company.

Aside from V-day: I keep meaning to write more often, but I lack self-discipline. I just have to face it: I'm finding out that I am not much of a creative writer. Ideas for what to write about do not spill out and overflow for me. Maybe I like to write when given a topic and not when having to come up with one on my own. Or maybe I do actually have things worth sharing, and I judge them as not worth sharing. Thus, the dryness of this blog. Does anyone else have this "blog struggle"? I do apologize and hope to be a more active writer!

i have a friend and his name is oscar

Oscar noms were announced today! The big shock: TEN nominations for Best Picture instead of the usual five. I thought CNN had made a mistake. So I checked into IMDB because I know they don't lie. And it is true. Apparently around 5o years ago, that's how they used to do it. I still don't know how I feel about it. My pick: Precious. My prediction: Avatar. Ok, enough of this dorky Oscar buzz post....but before I go, the complete list of nominees I must share.

book recommendation: into the wild by jon krakauer

The 2007 film Into the Wild stirred me so greatly that I had to know more about the life of Chris McCandless. Luckily, I found that this movie was actually based on a book by a man named Jon Krakauer, a writer who had similar feelings of intrigue after finishing an article he was asked to write about McCandless in Outside magazine in 1992, soon after the young man's death. For the next three years or so, Krakauer immersed himself in extensive research, meeting with family members, friends, and acquaintances, collecting journal entries and letters, and even visiting the exact spot in the Alaskan wilderness where McCandless starved to death, to find some answers to the questions surrounding the tragedy and to see a little more clearly what it was in the first place that made the 24-year-old "supertramp" leave everything he knew behind.

A little summary: In 1990, 22-year-old Chris McCandless, remarkably intelligent and fed up with middle-class life and modern society in general, graduated from Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. A month later, he donated his entire savings to charity (over $20,000), drove out west, and never spoke to his family again. Abandoning his car a few weeks after embarking, he became a permanent hitchhiker, relishing in tramping around the U.S. for the next two years, meeting interesting people along the way, living a minimalist life-style, completely independent of responsibility and every element of his former life. Alaska was his last big adventure in the spring of 1992, where he lived in an abandoned bus in the wilderness for four months in complete solitude before starving to death.

So why did he go? And what is so interesting about his particular story anyway? As Krakauer points out, there have been many men, young and old, just like Chris who left society to be on their own, sometimes doing very dangerous activities in remote parts of the earth, who were either found dead or never seen or heard from again. Krakauer himself strongly identified with McCandless, being an avid mountain climber as a youth and young adult, once climbing the dreaded Devil's Thumb in Alaska with stubborn determination, an act he thought, "would fix all that was wrong with my life...in the end, of course, it changed almost nothing." Maybe it is that, upon finding out who Chris really was and what his life had been like, it's a little easier to see why he wanted to get out and it's almost admirable to see him actually try to discover a life of what he called truth.

I don't think he should have severed his relationship with his family; this is not what I admire. His lack of understanding in the area of forgiveness is not something we can scorn, but rather only something to be saddened by. What is beautiful about the story of his walk into the wild is that he was willing to give up everything he had in worldly terms (a college education, possessions, career, modern distractions) to find truth. He knew none of these tangible things could fill him up or make him happy. Only truth. And to me, this is a such a clear testament to the fact that our souls are not satisfied, not really, until we find it.

I think he missed it. But I also think he was very close. In a letter to an elderly friend he met along the way to Alaska, Chris writes, "You are wrong if you think joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living." Chris knew the splendor of God's creation, that it was praiseworthy and to be enjoyed. But he vastly underestimated the beauty of humanity because all he could see was that it is fallen, and therefore missed the truth that is Christ. Reading a post on the blog, "Of First Importance" last week, these statements reminded me so much of Into the Wild: "He (John, who recorded one of the Gospel accounts) tells Jews that the truth and self-expression of God has become human. He tells Greeks that the meaning of life and all existence has become human. Therefore, only if you know this human being will you find what you hoped to find in philosophy or even in the God of the Bible. The difference [between any other great figure and Jesus] is the difference between an example of living and one who is the life itself."

It is not for me to judge and say he missed it, for in that bus it is possible he came to the truth as he neared his end. We at least know that he realized isolation doesn't really work; several of the notes marked in books he was reading at the time indicate this, including his exclamation, in all caps, quoting a line from another book, handwritten in a page of Doctor Zhivago: HAPPINESS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED.

Bottom line: great book and well worth the read.

the golden globes

It's Golden Globes night!!!

I am pulling for:

- (500) Days of Summer (Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy)

- Tobey Maguire (Brothers, Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama)

- Joseph Gordon-Levitt ((500) Days of Summer, Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy)

- Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones, Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture)

- Mo'Nique (Precious, Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture)

And, I did like Up in the Air also, just not especially pulling for it.

Movies I have failed to see, but want to: The Young Victoria, An Education, Avatar, A Serious Man, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and Up.

Favorite dresses (so far): Emily Blunt, Maggie Gyllenhaal

I'm excited!

"contentment" by mrs. charles e. cowman(streams in the desert)

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"I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" (Phil. 4:11).

Paul, denied of every comfort, wrote the above words in his dungeon. A story is told of a king who went into his garden one morning, and found everything withered and dying. He asked the oak that stood near the gate what the trouble was. He found it was sick of life and determined to die because it was not tall and beautiful like the pine. The pine was all out of heart because it could not bear grapes, like the vine. The vine was going to throw its life away because it could not stand erect and have as fine fruit as the peach tree. The geranium was fretting because it was not tall and fragrant like the lilac; and so on all through the garden. Coming to a heart's-ease, he found its bright face lifted as cheery as ever. "Well, heart's-ease, I'm glad, amidst all this discouragement, to find one brave little flower. You do not seem to be the least disheartened." "No, I am not of much account, but I thought that if you wanted an oak, or a pine, or a peach tree, or a lilac, you would have planted one; but as I knew you wanted a heart's-ease, I am determined to be the best little heart's-ease that I can."

"Others may do a greater work,
But you have your part to do;
And no one in all God's heritage
Can do it so well as you."

They who are God's without reserve, are in every state content; for they will only what He wills, and desire to do for Him whatever He desires them to do; they strip themselves of everything, and in this nakedness find all things restored an hundredfold.

it's 2010

Ah, fresh start. I know the fact that it is a new year does not necessarily mean we are in a new place in life, though it may for some, but I still consider it to be a fresh start, and the transition into this new year has made me especially excited. (The very first thing I did in 2010 was laugh rather wildly, so I think that's a good start.) Maybe it's because last year was kind of difficult, with the whole transitioning out of college thing. I have a whole mental list of new year's resolutions, most of which are small, but very important. For example: "Don't look at the clock so often during the workday, or at all, if possible." Another is to write more...(surprise). And there is the usual "Work out an exercise schedule and stick to it", which I have made for about the past four years. Again, I will try. : )

More excitement (having nothing to do with the fact that it is 2010): I got an Itunes gift card for Christmas and have spent about the past three days trying to find songs/albums to buy. After composing a "wish list", deleting and adding as I searched, and taking into account a few past suggestions from others, I found 16 songs that I am really excited about "getting to know" and would like to share them with you, because I think they are beautiful.

1. Cello Song - The Books, feat. Jose Gonzalez

2. Behind Your Eyes - Jon Foreman

3. White as Snow - Jon Foreman

4. From This One Place - Sara Groves

5. How Will He Find Me - Deb Talan

6. If You Find Her - Future of Forestry

7. Laden With Guilt and Full of Fears - Sandra McCracken

8. O Love Incomprehensible - Sandra McCracken

9. Thy Mercy My God - Sandra McCracken

10. Maps - Rogue Wave

11. Publish My Love - Rogue Wave

12. Moth's Wings - Passion Pit

13. Nantes - Beirut

14. This Breaks My Heart of Stone - Red Mountain Church

15. Waste Another Day - Brooke Fraser

16. Your Arms Around Me - Jens Lekman

Enjoy! Or don't. Either way.