I graduated from college one year ago today. I can't believe it has been a whole year. I don't feel like I've moved very far (literally, haha). I have lived in my parents' house, month after month. Watched television and eaten meals with my family, night after night. Worked restlessly at a bank, day after day. I don't have a lot of exciting stories from this year.
I know I sound like a brat. Ungrateful, even. And I know I often appear pessimistic.
But I know God is still God, and He is working everywhere, in schools and in friends' lives and in India and in corporate offices, and I am growing in Him. And for that I am thankful, and in that I find rest.
Now if I could just get over myself, and start living out this quote that my friend Sarah shared on her blog not long ago, and that I haven't stopped thinking about since:
Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls, and interesting people. Forget yourself. - Henry Miller
And (dare I say it again?) I really, really, want to begin writing at least weekly, if not daily, like my friend Michelle has committed to do.
I read today in Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening that Christ is the "spring of our actions". That really excites me. I am not a "make it happen" type of person. I'm a "watch it happen" person (thus, movie freak). But there has to be some action. And I think action begins when we start obeying. And the Spirit tells us how to obey. I think I don't see action in my life because I am fearful, and lazy, and I resist His beckoning. I'm mostly talking about little things here, like phone calls and preparing my own meals and practicing playing my guitar instead of just staring at it. Through daily obedience, I think God invites us to see the bigger picture, because it takes the focus off of ourselves. So that's what I'm going to try to do.
The first part of an unforgettable epic family saga about the sacrifices every mother makes for her daughter and the very nature of unconditional love. On the eve of the First World War, fiery Marta Schneider leaves Switzerland and her difficult childhood behind, determined to find a new life on her own terms. Barely out of her teens, Marta is haunted by a devastating loss that fuels her ambition to one day own a hotel. From the cramped quarters of a French housekeeping school to the portrait-lined halls of a stately English manor, Marta becomes a hard working domestic who has little time to dwell onwhat might have been. Instead, she draws her strength from what could be. Then, Marta meets Niclas Waltert, a man just as determined as she to forge a better life in a new place. Niclas captures her heart and together they endure the harshness of life as tenant farmers on the vast prairies of Winnipeg, Canada, before following the promise of the American dream and migrating to the agriculturally rich Central Valley of California. Marriage and motherhood bring both joy and heartbreak, as Marta must surrender her long-held ambitions for the sake of her husband and children, including her daughter, Hildemara, upon whose shoulders her own hopes now squarely rest. Only the strong survive and Marta is determined to raise a daughter as strong as she. But as Hildie reaches young womanhood and another war is fast approaching, those hopes become too heavy a burden for Hildie to bear. Born with a heart to serve others, Hildie pursues her calling as a nurse, something Marta can’t understand. Marta’s years of hardnosed parenting have left Hildie still hungry for her mother’s love…and now for her mother’s respect. Amid the drama of WWII, Hildie falls in love and begins a family of her own. She wants her daughter, Carolyn, never to doubt her love—but the challenges of life conspire against her vow and the only person who can come to her aid is the person she remains so desperate to please: Marta, her mother. With hallmark touches of brilliant prose and gripping characterizations, Her Mother’s Hope is a rich, moving epic about faith and dreams, heartache and disappointment, and ultimately the resilience and tenacity of love.
