forced to trust

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." - Ephesians 2:10

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." - Galatians 2:20

"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7

"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11-13

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made....skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth" - Psalm 139:14,15 (emphasis mine)

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom." - Luke 12:32

"...'Master, Master, we are perishing!' And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm. And He said to them, 'Where is your faith?'" - Luke 8:24, 25

As far as I know, I don't have a single plan, event, appointment, trip, or any place to be at all after August 10, 2009. Not a one. I have no school schedule or work schedule or anything really from which to work around, and this is the first time that my situation has been such in my entire life. On the balancing scale (I just tried to type "scale" and it came out "scare", go figure!) of fear and excitement in regard to this new situation of mine, my thoughts tend to tip to the fear side way too often.

My fear emerges simply from this: a lack of trust in the Lord's sovereignty, love, and every other immense power He has. The above are some verses, some truths, that I have recently been and am presently clinging to, meditating on. I am trying to claim these promises and walk in the absolute truth of them. What amazing love! He skillfully wrought me. Whenever I feel like I'm kind of insignificant (kind of a no-talent consumer, you know?), I remember this. He wouldn't have so carefully and skillfully constructed me if I He didn't love me. This summer, He has definitely been stopping me, teaching me, and letting me just ponder His love and His purposes, purposes that are so much bigger than just me. I am far from abandoned, though my vision is blurred as to what God will do with me come August.

I am forced to trust.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit." - Jeremiah 17:7-8